Thirteen-->ThirtyFive

--> Tonight will pass us by as we're breathing in this moon-lit air. Tonight will pass us by as the world it seems to disappear.

Here's another one :) This is more accurately how I feel about the world and a lot less cynical than my previous post.

I have 13 minutes to finish this blog.

I saw this "live brightly" thing on YouTube today. Thought it was a good idea. Turned out to be a publicity thing for a potato chip company. Whoo, big surprise there... But anyway, it was about all the little things that one might do to brighten someone's day or generally enjoy life to the fullest. The videos were about some blonde chick who wanted people to share a "bright" moment of something they do might do daily for a competition via video. Aside from sounding somewhat cultish, I thought it was cool and kinda nice as opposed to the self-absorbed assholes we're so used to.

Probably less than 25% of the people around me (and I mean that in a very broad sense) actually appreciate what they have in life from day to day. Personally I get up every single day of my life and regardless of how tired, pissed off, hungover, or generally stressed I might happen to be (which has been a fair bit lately), I get up with the strong belief that I decide the part that I play in the eternal, swirling abyss commonly known as the world we live in today. I have a purpose, responsiblities, luxeries and a lifestyle which I appreciate and genuinely love. For me there's always something awesome around the corner. And when I say "awesome" I don't mean shit like what I'm going to buy in the next few weeks or what I'm doing this weekend. I honestly find sharing a laugh or having downtime with a good friend as something awesome. This is where I find my self differing from a lot people. Every single moment where I'm experiencing life means something to me. Every sound, sight, and touch is worth appreciating, whether it be bad or good. Because in the end there is no good without bad, no sweetness without bitterness.

I believe I could find a million places just in Hamilton, (which for the most part a pretty uneventful place) and still find some form of distilled beauty somewhere. No surprise I like "American Beauty" there are things in that movie which are pretty much the essence of how I view the world... cept I'm probably a little less weird/ creepy than Ricky Fitz. I love the sarcastic comment Jane makes about having a Kodak moment with her mother. It's a brilliant film.

But whatever, I've gone over my intended time and I'm ranting now haha, people either get what I'm trying to say or they don't. It's hopefully food for thought. In a nutshell, I'm thankful. And in my opinion people should be a lot more thankful for what they have. Maybe then people could learn a bit of empathy and stop being so fucking cynical and hypercritical all the time.

Later.

No Vacancy.

--> My words won't heal you now. My words won't heal. It is you who decides. It is you who decides.


Slowly transferring important posts into my blogger account. Hahaha I love this post from when I was 18 or so... So very pretentious. I disagree with bits of it and I'm probably a hypocrite by even posting such a blog, but it definitely had it's purpose at that time in my life :)

A journal?.. Stellar. I think i might just have to rant on and on about a pile of random while life ticks past, reality slowly kicks in and I wake the fuck up.

We go about life bitching about every little imperfection and blemish in an imitation of a magazine lifestyle. "My coffee mug's handle's too small. There's too much traffic. There's a stick in my ass. There's too many people living an imitation of a magazine lifestyle" (and yes, the last half of this paragraph was supposed be under quotation marks)

It's all too easy to forget times long since passed: Being a kid, climbing up trees over and over to make a jump, 'maybe this time I'll fly away and soar...' The optimism. The hope. Somewhere along the road, the words breathed by an unrelenting youth were lost in translation. 'How can I?' became 'Why should I?', 'Where can I?' became 'Where am I?'

Why appreciate when I can criticise? I mean, people listen to criticism whether they like it or not, the negative always has a greater effect on mood than the positive. Everyone wants to be heard, I know I do. Don't deny it.

Now there's an irony in this rant, which I'll have to change. For all ranters of our society, the 'individuals' and deviants who must isolate society's flaws and who feel totally above it solely because they can identify a problem within it - Imagine if we didn't have our current system of existence. Where would that put them? Without the majority, you don't have a minority and when it comes down to it a lot the 'minority' are just the majority in a different shell.

So who are the real minority then? The minority are the ones who are truly awake, they're the ones who embrace what they have. The few who can accept an imperfect and often indifferent world for the few wonders and the beauty within it. They're ones who make a difference every day, whether it be small or miraculous by being aware of a society and adjusting its rules to achieve a positive result. They might not challenge every norm in fact only challenge the ones that suit them, but they're doing it for them not to prove anything to anyone. In saying that, they know what can be seen as the not so good aspects of a system and know how to deviate when the occasion arises. They're aware without having to make a big deal about it and likely to say something along the lines of, "fuck it, I've got a life to live and not wasting my breathe on bitching about it"

You know exactly which one you are.

later.

My First Love

--> Give your immortality, I'll set you up against the stars.

I've always found a lot of comfort in music. If I'm in a good mood, I'll crank up some summer tunes or rock out. If I'm hungover I'll listen to soft ambience or mellow trip-hop. If I feel like shit I'll play lead or solo over a depressing song. It's feels like taking control over emotion by controlling a melody or harmony over/with a song. There is no feeling in the world quite like it. I think a lot of what makes me who I am comes from being musically inclined. I've gained persistence and confidence. I've learned how to express without words and discovered how much power music has on how someone feels (myself included). I also look at the world in a different way because of the fact. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that music and my musical ability is something very, very dear to me - and I'd hate to be someone who tried to come between me and my love for music.

Later.

Open Your Eyes

--> There's always a first step.

From this point onwards, I want this to be the nexus of my online experience. The page which is always open that links me to the rest of my online persona (more on my online persona later) and the page that I can look back on and find myself inspired. If I'm down or feeling less than stellar, I'll write something in LiveJournal - It's adequately depressing there. But when I find myself conquering fears and motivated, this is where I'll come. When I have a huge inspirational epiphany, I'll come here. When I have a moment which I can't explain, but is totally awesome, I'll come here and throw a few words down. When I'm over the freaking moon, I'll come here. So in saying that, hopefully I'll be here a lot :)

I think it's probably a good idea to explain who I am. Or at least try. Here's the side of me that sites like bebo just can't show. Born and raised in Hamilton, I went to a primary, an intermediate and a high school. I had a pretty typical childhood and my parents are still together today. Mum taught me empathy, kindness, faith and how to cook. Dad taught me patience, loyalty, modesty and the usefulness of being multi skilled/talented. They both taught me stubbornness. I've seen both of them at their strongest and their weakest and I've gained a lot from that insight, I also have the utmost respect for them because of this. Also very important to who I am are my friends. They inspire me - hopefully vice-versa too. They are great to be around and a few of them have helped me out in the most amazing ways. Some of them can be bastards and some of them just don't quite see things the way I do. Either way, I'm thankful for em' they make all this worthwhile.

I've changed since even last year. I think I see the world differently than most people do. I'm never quick to pass judgement. I'm optimistic, even if it means I get dissed for the fact. I'm definitely not cynical, but still retain certain reservations so as to keep my sense intact. I have replaced an over-compensating shadow of confidence with a genuine sense of comfort and appreciation for who and where I am. I have these moments of crystal clarity where I see everything for what they are.. it's hard to explain, but all the subtext of a situation gets washed away and you're left with fundamental importance. I also have these nostalgic feelings about places I've never been to. This is even harder to explain, I mean how can I explain nostalgia of an experience I've never had. I see beauty beneath the rubble. I see the match light in a blackened room. I see people for who they are, nothing more and certainly nothing less. I am who I am, I'm probably the only one who totally knows what that means, but there are definitely a other people who understand me better than most. Hahaha yea, and they know who they are ;)